Firstly, I’d like to point out how damn difficult it is to talk about this subject without mentioning Mr MacKaye or THAT song but I’m going to give it a bash anyway.
You’re living your best edge life, merrily avoiding alcohol, smoking & drugs then BAM you hook up with someone who really sparks your interest. They give you butterflies & tingly feels – it’s clear the feelings are mutual, so what next? I feel that this is a situation all edgers have reached at some point. It’s certainly something I’ve thought about, especially in recent times (but let’s face it, most of us have been in lockdown for so long that unless you have a partner at home it’s not likely you’ve been getting any offers anyway!)
Everyone has a unique moral compass. I don’t think that casual sex is a bad thing and I also feel that a lot of pressure is placed on people of all genders to maintain a purity that seems to be magnified with the denial of sexuality. When I first claimed edge I simply thought it would be a matter of fucking less & masturbating more. But it didn’t work out like that! We don’t have to deny our bodies of anything if two (or more!) contenting adults want to engage in sex or sex games.
Sex is the ultimate power of self, and it’s not always a straightforward choice of casual, anything goes one-night-stand sex or meaningful intercourse with a long term partner. There’s a weird middle ground that provides a place for those who aren’t really lovers, but kind of more than friends. It’s like being stuck in sex limbo.
I personally don’t know any other straight edge people who refrain from sexual activity based on their claim of edge, however almost every straight edge person that I know is vegan – from that perspective there’s definitely been a shift in priorities and boundaries in more recent times.
The real issue for me is that the community as a whole shouldn’t shame people who have an active sex life no more than we should shame those who choose to abstain. We need to maintain a healthy relationship with our bodies and if that involves the use of toys, games and some open conversation then I feel such an arrangement should be placed in high esteem. We need to be practicing safe sex, both from a physical perspective and also a mental one.