Meet Haley (Deconstructinghours) sxe/xvx

Being Straight Edge is something I very rarely admit to. Not because I’m ashamed or in some kind of denial – but because people don’t really get what it means. It’s easier just tell people that I don’t drink, as alcohol consumption seems to be a bit of a big deal.

Haley

My name’s Hayley and I live in a pretty rural area in Lincolnshire, England. I almost don’t have any friends which is mostly a blessing as explaining to people why I find their lifestyle boring is a real chore in itself. I recently started a new job at a tool store, and my colleagues found out within the first week that I don’t smoke or drink or do drugs or consume animal products and honestly they acted like I was from another planet.

Non-edge activities seem to be incredibly important to non-edge people and it’s really difficult to make friends who don’t judge negatively if I refrain from doing the things that they’re so passionate about. I guess I feel quite isolated at times as I don’t get to take part in social activities or dates because I’m a ‘boring straight edge vegan’. I think that there is a real unwillingness to scratch beneath the surface and I honestly think that a lot of that is purely down to geography.

My perception is that sxe/xvx people from cities get a much easier ride. It’s a more common and accepted way of life, particularly if they’re involved with certain live music scenes as the subculture lifestyle seems to encompass personal values, the arts and lifestyle choices.

Haley Dog

So where does this leave me? I guess I’m okay with being a bit of an outsider. I live in a very old cottage with 11 cats, 3 dogs, as well as rabbits, guinea pigs & rats. My lifestyle and beliefs don’t fit in with other people and that’s ok. I figured out a long time ago that trying to be likeable or palatable is hard fucking work. I’m incredibly grateful for groups like xsisterhoodx that actually give a voice and validity to being an edge girl in 2020

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  1. Same
    I understand you completely and ditto to having barely any friends. It’s hard to connect to people bc everyone wants to have a girls night and make fun for not drinking wine or they want to meet at the bar. Hard pass….
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  2. I feel ya
    Thank you for sharing 🙂 I completely understand and like Laura, I don’t have many friends either. I lost most of them 10 years ago when I know longer was the “party girl.” But, who wants friends like that? I have 3 cats as well and take care of the stray cats on my street. I guess you can say I like cats lol. As for dating, I have tried dating men who are not edge and they just never seem to fully grasp the importance of my life choice. Many times, it is taken lightly, like it is not a life choice for me. You ever need a friend to talk to, I am here 🙂
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  3. Thanks!
    Thanks for sharing!

    I completely agree that those in population-dense cities are more likely to encounter those with the same beliefs; the odds are just in their favor.

    It can be lonely being an outsider in a small town. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and know that the sisterhood has you!

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