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I have been working in the industry for a few years now and I have gone through my fair share of discrimination. People just don’t seem to get that a girl can be at a show for other reasons then to blow the lead singer and get fucked by band members for a pass to the show. Some of us are there to work and do a hell of a lot more work then half the guys sitting around getting piss drunk at 3 in the afternoon. I have to do twice as much work with less then half the pay off and thanks that a male gets. I am 17 and have managed 2 bands, currently managing one of those and soon taking on another one to do a summer tour. When I email clubs they ask me to tell my boss to email them instead of getting an assistant to do it for them. It is so old fashioned to think that a female is not aloud to be in the position of authority especially in the industry. Even helping bands load in, I will go to pick up an amp and some guy will come along and be like “oh don’t try to lift that honey, it’s too big for you.” And the call one of his band mates over to help him carry it. I can bench 180lbs; which is more then half of the little scensters even weigh. And if I do carry something they don’t even say thanks. I also have had problems with the band I currently manage. When I started managing them they seemed to think that I was not in charge of them on tour but a mom away from home and a sex doll. I am neither of these and made that VERY clear as soon as I saw that happening. I have strict rules and morals that keep me grounded and away from stereotypes;
Guys in the industry don’t have to follow any of these rules there is a double standard for them. If they sleep with a record executive and suddenly they get a record deal no one thinks anything of it but the girl is looked at as a slut that had to sleep with the band to get them to sign with the label. I am so sick people thinking that I am in capable and unqualified as a female in the industry. I know I am a great manager and tour manager and take my job very seriously. I don’t freak out very often and if I do it’s because someone has offended me by trying to get me to drink, do drugs whatever even though I’m edge and have made that clear or sleep with me on tour or just pissed me right the fuck off that day. I don’t cry when shows don’t go well or an interviewer took the bands words out of context and made them look like assholes. I have seen guys cry over it and no one thinks anything of it. I deserve the same amount of respect as anyone else and if it is given the guy doing the same job as me then why should I have to work twice as hard to get the least bit of respect and recognition? Comments (86)
  written by Jake  ,
January 16, 2009
As difficult as it must be to be a young girl in the straight edge and hardcore scene, I can't even imagine what it must be like to be a young girl WORKING in the scene. That's quite a hard road you've chosen to go down but I think it's terrific that you've chosen that road. Best of luck to you and please try to stay out of harm's way as best you can.
 written by Elena, January 16, 2009
Nikki, you are someone that alot of girls in the scene can look up to. You respect yourself, and you're doing what you do for the right reasons. Kudos!
 written by Average Guy in music biz, January 17, 2009
I have read these pieces and it seems like if you weren't edge, you would have something to complain about. You are edge, but you still have something to complain about.
I find it rather ironic that a group of people now find it "trendy" to be edge. If the people I see with the mad X ink on their neck (or wherever) want to live this way, that's cool. On the other side, why feel it necessary to promote the fact that this is how you live? It's ditching the conformity of one lifestyle, only to advertise that you belong to another... It's like religion in a way, where most everyone I have ever talked to that is part of whatever religion, feel the need to belong to one in the first place. Salvation or enlightenment, empowerment or equality are not things that can be learned from another person, and if they could be, how do you know their version is what yours should be to? Aside from that aspect of being edge (male or female), the other problems you are having on tour are not totally because you are a woman either. I deal with touring bands on a daily basis, and they all have someone who plays this role. It could be a male, female, mom, teenager, smoker, drinker, edge... whatever. If you are tired of being the one who ends up driving, then you need to be in a band with people who want to take it seriously! This is the problem with 95% of bands! It's not that someone needs help getting back to the van, you more than likely knew their behavior before you agreed to tour with them. So, don't blame that on being a Woman, or an edge! It's your fault (male or female) for being in a band that has members who don't share the same goals for the band as you do! I know several Women in this industry, both band members & TM's. They are not treated as lessers because they are Women at all. This is because they are not going to accept that, nor complain about it when something goes wrong. They command respect and they receive it! Sorry to just jump in on your exchange here, but I too get sick of things. Most of the time it's people who accept drama, deal with life, yet still feel the need to find someone else to blame. Guest...
 written by dalton, February 18, 2009
im an 19 years old male and i think woman are the strongest ppl on the planet and we should show the very most respect but also treat equal not above or below and not expect them to be baby machines
 written by chex disregardable, March 10, 2009
Im a male in a band with half edge and half not but all of my band mates always seem to objectify the girls at all the shows. I think i understand excactly what girls in the scene go through. I would hate to be treated as if I dont really love hardcore at shows.
Last month the lead singer of my band and i got into a fight because he said girls who travel with bands are someones girlfriend or wants to date someone in the band. I told him thats not always true and went on to say most girls come to shows just because they have a boyfriend in a band. this enraged me. its hard being a male feminist in a band.
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 written by Janet Austin, July 11, 2009
it is really commendable what you are doing at this time and I surely agree with the rules that you have set for yourself. It will surely get to the ace position soon just hang on and keep on doing your best as you are already! Keep it up!
Thanks music business school
 written by kalene humphrey, July 15, 2009
by just reading this you have earned my complete and total respect. i'm a vocalist in a band, and when i set up before doing a show, the other bands just think i'm a merch girl, a groupie or one of my band mates girlfriends. i get no respect either, even in a little town like this one. by the end of the night i always end up recieving some sort of hand shake, or 'good job'... i think women deserve so much more respect. i can scream just as loud, and just as low as any other guy... any womens music is just as good and loud.
but i've always said as long as you have a passion for what you do, fuck everything else, and everyone else. and you seem to have it all together. this is a great article...kudos.
 written by Alvin Gein, September 02, 2009
Surely agree with the rules that you have set for yourself. Will definitely get to the top position soon just hold on and keep on doing your best! Really admirable what you are doing at this time.
Music Business Education
 written by Leondra, September 08, 2009
Ive been in a handfull of hardcore/ "deathcore"/ metal bands and I am a Music Business major and an intern at a concert venue and Ive never ran into any sexism. Though I agree it would be nice to have more women in the scene. But I dont think people realize how many awesome metal/ hardcore/ metalcore bands there are out there with women and who are doing it big like In This Moment, Im sure you know about Adrienne, Eths, Otep, Arch Enemy, Straight Line Stitch, Walls of Jericho, Iwrestledabearonce, The Agonist, Winds of Plague and tons more. Even Jada Pinkett Smith apparently has her own metal band? Women are becoming more common, and I have never ran into a problem myself. So keep your head up, maybe its not the fact that you are a girl? And yes, I think whether you are a girl or a guy, it pretty much known that u shouldnt sleep with bandmates, wtc. Thats just how business works.
 written by xRachel Trinidadx, November 14, 2009
It's always a struggle to get respect in a male-dominated world such as the music scene. All you can do is keep on fighting as hard as you can and prove them all wrong. Everything in the music business is always an uphill battle, whether you're a male or a female, but as luck would have it, our hill is a bit steeper then theirs. I'm the 15 year old guitarist in my a band, and the minute people look at me they think, and sometimes even say to my face, "Oh it's a chick, she must suck" but the look on their faces when I play is more than enough of a reward for having to deal with their constant sexist bullshit. I'm lucky enough to be in a band with guys who couldn't care less whether I'm a male or a female, so it's not ALL guys. I know for a fact that they'd sooner beat the shit out of anybody who tried to talk shit on me then join in with them. We've all just gotta keep working our way into the spotlight, continue to make a good reputation for ourselves, and destroy the image that the little "Disney pop princesses" have created as the female "standard". Good luck in all your endeavors, never give up, we're all behind you 100% =]
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Being straight edge also presented it's own set of problems, specially while being on tour. Such as being the only sober person around and therefore in charge of everything by default. Having to track down promoters for money, making sure all the equipment makes it back to the trucks, making sure all your bandmates make it back to the trucks, DRIVING EVERYWHERE! Only to wake up the next morning and start all over again with little to no thanks.
While I'm glad that things have gotten a little better, it's still not enough. And yes, we ourselves have to work at not being perceived in those stereotypical ways. I've fought hard for it and now I get equal respect and consideration. But it shouldn't be that difficult right off the bat.
Well, the only silver lining is that one you DO get that respect, you know it's been well earned and no one can take that away from you. Kaitlin, hang in there! Your day will come.
Nikki